The moment you are in

Big feelings

Young children feel things much bigger than they can say. Tantrums are a normal part of development and happen most between ages 1 and 3. Stories give children words and a safe distance, so they can talk about a feeling without being in it.

By Lundbo. Last updated November 1, 2026. Sources are listed at the end.

In the moment

  • Stay calm, and keep your child in a safe place with you close by.1, 2
  • Name the feeling and acknowledge it: "You are frustrated." Naming emotions helps children recognize what they feel and feel more in control.3, 2, 4
  • Offer small choices rather than yes-or-no questions. Choices give a child a sense of control.1, 2

Afterward

  • Once your child feels safe and understood, talk about what happened.4
  • Use a bedtime story as a jumping-off point to talk about emotions, and read books about feelings together.5, 6
  • Ask about the character first: "How do you think Tully felt?" Then, if it fits, connect it to your child: "Have you ever felt like that?" Questions that make connections to a child's own life are one of the prompts used in dialogic reading.7

When to ask for help

  • Tantrums that are intense, frequent or hard to recover from can be a sign a child needs more support.8
  • If a child seems unusually aggressive for longer than a few weeks and you cannot manage it on your own, consult your pediatrician.9

If big feelings are frequent, last a long time or worry you, talk to your pediatrician.

Stories for this

Sources

  1. Top Tips for Surviving Tantrums, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org), April 21, 2021
  2. Pro Tips for Managing Toddler Tantrums, ZERO TO THREE, October 5, 2020
  3. Helping Little People Manage Big Feelings, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org), November 7, 2024
  4. Why Kids Act Out: Tips to Help Your Child Cope With Stress, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org), May 17, 2024
  5. 4 Play Activities to Help Children Manage Emotions, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org), December 19, 2023
  6. Books About Feelings for Babies and Toddlers, ZERO TO THREE, February 1, 2016
  7. Interactive and Dialogic Reading (FS-13-41), University of Nevada, Reno Extension (Byington, 2013), 2013
  8. Understanding Toddler Behavior: What's Typical and When to Seek Help, ZERO TO THREE, August 22, 2025
  9. 10 Tips to Prevent Aggressive Behavior in Young Children, American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org), October 25, 2023

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