Waiting and patience

What helps

• Expect little. Toddlers have little self-control yet, and are not very good at waiting.¹
• Give the reason, in plain words. "When the steam goes away, we can test the oatmeal."²
• Make the wait visible. A kitchen timer or egg timer lets a child watch the countdown and keep track.^{2, 1}
• Pick one small project that needs time and let your child check on it.

Keep your promises about the end of the wait

In one small study, 28 children around age four and a half were asked to wait for a treat. Children who had first met a reliable adult waited significantly longer than children who had met an unreliable one. It is one study, but it fits a simple habit: if you say the wait ends at the buzzer, let it end at the buzzer.

• Beliefs about whether the adult is reliable changed how long children waited.³

Skills that grow with practice

The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard describes skills like self-control and planning as abilities children are born with the potential to develop, through interactions and practice. Waiting is practice.

• Executive function skills develop through interactions and practice.⁴

About our stories

The Hammer That Waited gives the wait a visible, testable reason: glue sets, paint dries, a clamp holds. June tries it early on scrap wood and sees why. Pop always keeps his promises. The Crooked Shelf is about measuring once, and then fixing it. Both are our own tellings, made for ages 4 to 7.